Nancy

Nancy was a Hospice patient who I came to know over the past several months through visiting her as a Volunteer Eucharistic Minister.  She passed away on Monday, and she has been in my thoughts so many times this past week, that I thought it was about time I write about her and perhaps sort out the why.  

As much as we know that Hospice patients pass away, Nancy always appeared to be a visitor.  Every time I stopped by, without fail, I would enter her room and there she was, fully dressed, sitting on her freshly made bed, either reading a book or chatting on the phone.  This is such a departure from the typical Hospice patient scenario.  She would spend her days reading, talking and visiting with friends, and often went out to lunch with “the girls” or with her son. 

She always seemed to hunger for the outside world.  Each visit she would start by asking me about my family, my plans for the day, or what I did on my weekend.  I really enjoyed our visits and felt compelled to bring her little morsels of life on the outside.  She had a jovial spirit and a serious side.  We would laugh at kid stories, and she would give me advice about my college daughter.  We talked of subjects ranging from literature & politics to hairdressers & restaurants.   

I felt bad that her husband was in poor health but still living at home, while her son lived 3 hours away and her daughter lived in Texas.  She never complained, except for one self-proclaimed pity party she had prior to the holidays.  She realized that she wouldn’t be able to make her traditional Christmas cookies.  She was pouting to her son over the phone about it until he reminded her that she didn’t really enjoy making the cookies anymore anyway.  This got her laughing.  “So what? They’re just cookies!”  Clearly it was the inability to do the things that we are conditioned to do that brought her down, and rightly so.  She dusted off her bruised ego and laughed it off, and went on with the things that she was able to do. 

When you train to be a Hospice Volunteer, you are instructed to enter the room with no agenda, allowing the patient to know that you are there solely for them and their needs.  I often wish I could selfishly dig into their psyche.  What are their thoughts? Fears? Regrets? What unique knowledge that only they possess based on their life experience would they wish to share with the world?  If only I could download this valuable information onto a hard drive.  We could all sync in and be enlightened. 

I’ve searched the Internet daily for her obituary.  Nothing. 

This is what I know for sure about Nancy.  She loved her family. She was proud of her kids.  She was a lifelong learner and avid reader.  She had dear friends to the end.  She shared herself and her thoughts without being imposing.  She made the most of a bad situation. And, most importantly, she was in Communion with God.  She highly recommended one of the last books she read, Tattoos on the Heart.  I’m reading that next.

God bless you Nancy, my friend.

Hello

So, here we go again.  We are off to a good start in 2011.  As I look back at the past year, I realize how blessed I am.  Blessed with the people in my life; my husband, children, family, friends, patients, student, those familiar faces who bring color, texture, wisdom and laughter into my life.  I’ve been blessed with good health, which allows me to not only get around but to challenge myself.  At times I’m proud of my accomplishments, and at other times I’m embarrassed that I don’t do more.  I’ve been blessed with the comforts of food, clothing and shelter, and have visited the dentist and the doctor.  These simple things that we take for granted are things that I’m thankful for each day.  Here’s a statistic I heard at work camp a couple years ago that rattles around in my head and my heart:  If you make over $50,000 a year, you are among the richest one percent of the world’s population.  1 %.  Yes, I am blessed beyond measure.

What brings you joy?  I think we all should focus on bringing joyful moments into our lives, and the lives of others.  My kids bring me great joy.  I remember many years ago when my friend Erin had 3 teenagers at home.  Most people have such horror stories of the teenage years.  Erin would just beam when she talked about her kids at this stage of their lives. “I LOVE teenagers… they’re SO funny!”  Now, I know for a fact that her kids were typical teens.  They had their share of difficulties and challenges.  Now, having 3 teens myself, I gotta say… they ARE funny.  My kids make me laugh all the time.  Where there is laughter, there is love.  I am so thankful for my little family, and having had one of my birds leave the nest this past fall, I’m cherishing every moment we get to spend together.  Ok, so maybe not EVERY moment.  They can still make me crazy, but I love them to pieces.

Another great source of joy is my husband.  I so love and appreciate my husband for who he is and what he brings to my life and the lives of our children.  I just love to say, “You’re the best husband I’ve ever had!” (I can say that, you know.) I’ll steal this one from Keith and simply say “…baby, you’re my better half”. 

I thank God for bringing us together and I look forward to making memories together for many, many years.

What can I say about my friends?  I could write a book… or a song.  Some friends come and go, but I hold them all close to my heart.  They are all part of me.  We’ve shared so much laughter, and heartache, good times and bad.  My heart is full.  Some friendships that you think will last a lifetime can fade, but I treasure the memories, I am thankful for the experiences, and I love them all.  

I’m not going to go on and list the things that brought joy to my life in 2010, because the list is long and they all revolve around the people I’ve mentioned.  Instead, I’ll list my goals for 2011…

MORE!

Reading – I love to read, but I need to make time to read.  One book a month is a realistic goal for me. 

Moving – running, swimming, biking, dancing, yoga… whatever it is, I will move it baby!  I’m not getting any younger, and it’s not getting any easier, but I always feel better after exercise.  I will keep Ella moving too! 

Woof.

Doing. - Less thinking, more doing.  Sometimes I think things to death, which keeps me from actually doing anything.  Over thinking steals time from getting things done.  Embrace the doubt and fear and move forward!

Writing – Another love.  Another thing I neglect, feeling that I have too many items on my to-do list.  Writing, like reading, feels like a selfish act.  Well, that’s ok.  I’ll do it anyway.

Being – Lastly, I want to make sure that I am present in the moment.  I want to live like my dad did in his post-diagnosis year.  He was fully engaged in each encounter, he took in every sunset.  He smiled, and in his smiling eyes you could see that he was soaking in the moment. 

What do you want more of this year?  How are you going to get in touch with your authentic self? 

Life is beautiful, but life is short.  Make it count.