Sweet Summertime

Breathe in big.  Take it all in.  The trees are full, the air is sweet, the birds are singing.  There’s nothing like summertime in Michigan.  Tomorrow is Summer Solstice.  Yes!  Summer is here. 

I’m a foodie.  I love good food.  Summer is like heaven…  fresh produce, new recipes, salads, desserts and mixology at its best.  The smell of something cooking on the grill makes me happy.  We gather, we eat, we drink, we laugh.  This is how memories are made.

This summer we started a new tradition.  Wednesday nights we now celebrate “Dinner with the Dalmans”.  Why not break up your work week with a fun & casual night with good friends and great food?!  It’s our way of making sure we get the most out of summer.

Here’s a photo of my first new summer dessert recipe, c/o Cooking Light. 

Margarita Ice Cream Sandwiches.   De-licious! 

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/margarita-ice-cream-sandwiches-50400000113024/

What are you doing to make the most of your summer?  Tomorrow you’ll have over 15 hours of daylight to soak in.  My day will start with strawberry picking (and eating) and end with 108 Sun Salutations at Wilcox Park with the Funky Bunch. 

Whatever it is that you do with your day tomorrow, do it big!   

Make the story of your summer a great read.

Nancy

Nancy was a Hospice patient who I came to know over the past several months through visiting her as a Volunteer Eucharistic Minister.  She passed away on Monday, and she has been in my thoughts so many times this past week, that I thought it was about time I write about her and perhaps sort out the why.  

As much as we know that Hospice patients pass away, Nancy always appeared to be a visitor.  Every time I stopped by, without fail, I would enter her room and there she was, fully dressed, sitting on her freshly made bed, either reading a book or chatting on the phone.  This is such a departure from the typical Hospice patient scenario.  She would spend her days reading, talking and visiting with friends, and often went out to lunch with “the girls” or with her son. 

She always seemed to hunger for the outside world.  Each visit she would start by asking me about my family, my plans for the day, or what I did on my weekend.  I really enjoyed our visits and felt compelled to bring her little morsels of life on the outside.  She had a jovial spirit and a serious side.  We would laugh at kid stories, and she would give me advice about my college daughter.  We talked of subjects ranging from literature & politics to hairdressers & restaurants.   

I felt bad that her husband was in poor health but still living at home, while her son lived 3 hours away and her daughter lived in Texas.  She never complained, except for one self-proclaimed pity party she had prior to the holidays.  She realized that she wouldn’t be able to make her traditional Christmas cookies.  She was pouting to her son over the phone about it until he reminded her that she didn’t really enjoy making the cookies anymore anyway.  This got her laughing.  “So what? They’re just cookies!”  Clearly it was the inability to do the things that we are conditioned to do that brought her down, and rightly so.  She dusted off her bruised ego and laughed it off, and went on with the things that she was able to do. 

When you train to be a Hospice Volunteer, you are instructed to enter the room with no agenda, allowing the patient to know that you are there solely for them and their needs.  I often wish I could selfishly dig into their psyche.  What are their thoughts? Fears? Regrets? What unique knowledge that only they possess based on their life experience would they wish to share with the world?  If only I could download this valuable information onto a hard drive.  We could all sync in and be enlightened. 

I’ve searched the Internet daily for her obituary.  Nothing. 

This is what I know for sure about Nancy.  She loved her family. She was proud of her kids.  She was a lifelong learner and avid reader.  She had dear friends to the end.  She shared herself and her thoughts without being imposing.  She made the most of a bad situation. And, most importantly, she was in Communion with God.  She highly recommended one of the last books she read, Tattoos on the Heart.  I’m reading that next.

God bless you Nancy, my friend.

Hello

So, here we go again.  We are off to a good start in 2011.  As I look back at the past year, I realize how blessed I am.  Blessed with the people in my life; my husband, children, family, friends, patients, student, those familiar faces who bring color, texture, wisdom and laughter into my life.  I’ve been blessed with good health, which allows me to not only get around but to challenge myself.  At times I’m proud of my accomplishments, and at other times I’m embarrassed that I don’t do more.  I’ve been blessed with the comforts of food, clothing and shelter, and have visited the dentist and the doctor.  These simple things that we take for granted are things that I’m thankful for each day.  Here’s a statistic I heard at work camp a couple years ago that rattles around in my head and my heart:  If you make over $50,000 a year, you are among the richest one percent of the world’s population.  1 %.  Yes, I am blessed beyond measure.

What brings you joy?  I think we all should focus on bringing joyful moments into our lives, and the lives of others.  My kids bring me great joy.  I remember many years ago when my friend Erin had 3 teenagers at home.  Most people have such horror stories of the teenage years.  Erin would just beam when she talked about her kids at this stage of their lives. “I LOVE teenagers… they’re SO funny!”  Now, I know for a fact that her kids were typical teens.  They had their share of difficulties and challenges.  Now, having 3 teens myself, I gotta say… they ARE funny.  My kids make me laugh all the time.  Where there is laughter, there is love.  I am so thankful for my little family, and having had one of my birds leave the nest this past fall, I’m cherishing every moment we get to spend together.  Ok, so maybe not EVERY moment.  They can still make me crazy, but I love them to pieces.

Another great source of joy is my husband.  I so love and appreciate my husband for who he is and what he brings to my life and the lives of our children.  I just love to say, “You’re the best husband I’ve ever had!” (I can say that, you know.) I’ll steal this one from Keith and simply say “…baby, you’re my better half”. 

I thank God for bringing us together and I look forward to making memories together for many, many years.

What can I say about my friends?  I could write a book… or a song.  Some friends come and go, but I hold them all close to my heart.  They are all part of me.  We’ve shared so much laughter, and heartache, good times and bad.  My heart is full.  Some friendships that you think will last a lifetime can fade, but I treasure the memories, I am thankful for the experiences, and I love them all.  

I’m not going to go on and list the things that brought joy to my life in 2010, because the list is long and they all revolve around the people I’ve mentioned.  Instead, I’ll list my goals for 2011…

MORE!

Reading – I love to read, but I need to make time to read.  One book a month is a realistic goal for me. 

Moving – running, swimming, biking, dancing, yoga… whatever it is, I will move it baby!  I’m not getting any younger, and it’s not getting any easier, but I always feel better after exercise.  I will keep Ella moving too! 

Woof.

Doing. - Less thinking, more doing.  Sometimes I think things to death, which keeps me from actually doing anything.  Over thinking steals time from getting things done.  Embrace the doubt and fear and move forward!

Writing – Another love.  Another thing I neglect, feeling that I have too many items on my to-do list.  Writing, like reading, feels like a selfish act.  Well, that’s ok.  I’ll do it anyway.

Being – Lastly, I want to make sure that I am present in the moment.  I want to live like my dad did in his post-diagnosis year.  He was fully engaged in each encounter, he took in every sunset.  He smiled, and in his smiling eyes you could see that he was soaking in the moment. 

What do you want more of this year?  How are you going to get in touch with your authentic self? 

Life is beautiful, but life is short.  Make it count.

Looking Back & Looking Forward

Here I sit, on the eve of a brand new year.  Winter winds gusting, chunks of ice sloshing their way onto the frozen shoreline of Crystal Lake.  Just me & my puppy… for a brief time we have the place to ourselves.  You rarely get this kind of quiet up at the cottage.  I like it.  There’s a nice fire going, with crackling chunks of birch from the property.  Nothing like the feel, the sound, and the scent of a real fire.  It has me feeling contemplative.

So what will this New Year bring?  What’s in store for us?  For Hailey, high school graduation and the beginning of a new chapter of life.  This makes me happy and excited for her, yet sad for me.  I can still see her as a curly-haired toddler, singing like Arielle from The Little Mermaid.  We’ve teased her endlessly this year about this being her “last” year.  “This is your LAST Christmas with us.”  This makes her crazy, as if she isn’t freaked out enough about what to do with life after graduation.  College is a given, but what to “be”?  Wish I could give her direction, but I’m still working on solving that riddle for myself. 

What were your best memories of 2009?  What made you laugh?  What made you cry?  What motivated you to do something?  What new people did you meet?  I have many great memories from this past year.  I’ll share some of my “firsts” in hopes to inspire others to try something new this year.

My dear Michael… he achieved a goal that he had set for me this year.  He’s been working me for years to get into biking.  “You’ll love it!” he would say.  “I love to run!” I’d reply.  I finally decided to do my knees a favor, and “cross-train”, and now I’m a biker, who occasionally runs.  He encouraged me through my first “Century”.  One hundred miles on a bike.  Sounds awful doesn’t it?  It was a blast.  Bikers are a unique breed, and we are blessed to have a group of friends who love to get out with nature and push themselves physically.  The best part of a group ride is the camaraderie.  It’s like running a marathon, except all the volunteers are right there with you cheering you on and making you laugh through the pain.  And then there’s the eating good food and drinking great beer part of biking.  I highly recommend you get on a bike and ride this year! 

Gotta Tri!  My friend Jen bought me this sticker, and though I’m not one for stickers on cars, this one I proudly display in my rear window.  Jen and I committed to doing our first triathlon together.  While there were many times when we asked ourselves “What were we thinking?”, we encouraged each other, we trained, and we did it!  Now, we’re hooked!  Do something crazy this year.  Better yet, enlist a friend to do it with you.  You can! 

I went to my first concert with girlfriends at Interlochen this summer. (Had to be specific on that one, as it is FAR from the first concert with girlfriends, and far from the last.)  The show, Little Big Town, was awesome.  The aftershow…I’ll never forget. Gazing up at nature’s fireworks…and laughing, uncontrollably.  I have so much fun with these girls.  We laugh, we cry, we travel, we meet new friends along the way.  Life is sweeter when you have great friends to share it with, and my life is just about at the sugar-coma level.  I am blessed. 

This may be the last trip to the cottage for ’09, but there were many, and they were all great times.  You get here and you stare out at the beautiful wide-open water, and you just can’t help but relax.  I’m so thankful that my kids have been able to create so many great childhood memories here.  This summer was especially great for Carter.  His “week at the cottage without the rest of us” was like summer camp, complete with a “mini-mini-tri” (which he tied for first place, winning a ½ pound of fudge), the 1^st Annual Crystal Lake Croquette Tournament (in which he was bumped from victory by a rather feisty young California girl), skiing, sailing, boating, tramping, biking, hiking, all while setting a new record for consecutive days without a shower.

We will never forget the great memories with the Dalmans this summer.  Our trip to Lake Superior was amazing.  We will forever cherish the time we spent at the cabin and on the boat, exploring the Canadian ship.  Such beauty in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, and we can’t say enough about the Dalmans… they are a treasure.  Explore Michigan this year.  Explore it with friends for more than twice the fun.

My first mission trip was a highlight of 2009.  Sharing that special time with Reid & Hailey was priceless.  I encourage everyone to get out and volunteer in some way this year.  There are so many people in need, and countless opportunities to put your gifts to work, whatever they may be.  The odd part of giving is that you inevitably get so much in return.  Enlightenment, inspiration, gratitude, new freindships… Give of yourself in 2010.

So many great memories this past year, and much to look forward to in the year to come.  Some events, we will schedule into our lives, and others we will stumble upon.   I’m looking forward to both, and I’m happy to share this journey…the ups and downs, with loved ones, near and far.  May God bless you in this coming year, and give you the courage and strength to face life’s challenges, and the wisdom to know what matters.  I raise my glass (ok, at the moment it’s a cup of coffee) to you… my friends, my family… may you be blessed, may you recognize the blessings, and give thanks!

fourteen days

My mom lives in a retirement community that has a digital Christmas countdown clock. As you enter the building you can't miss it. The days, hours, minutes and seconds are ticking down, right before your eyes. I'm sure the kids that see it are filled with excitement and anticipation. When I see it, I can't help but let out a painful groan, just thinking of what I want to accomplish before the holiday. Today marks just 14 days until Christmas. I had every intention of being ahead of the game this year. This was the year that I was going to try to get all my shopping done before December 1st so that I could really enjoy the season and the true meaning of Christmas. Well, maybe next year will be that year.

Yesterday we had a little slice of Christmas. Snow day #1. Happy, jolly kids. Rest for the weary. Christmas crafts coming together. The icing on the cake was dinner. All my kids, home and hungry at the same time. Hailey's boyfriend Justin was able to join us too. A great feast it was, with lots of chatter, laughter and storytelling (and dessert!). With two seniors at the table, we talked about college and future plans. I think back to the time when Hailey was just entering high school, and all the friends that warned me how fast the time would fly by. It's so true.

Time doesn't slow down. You just have to steal away bits of it and store the memories.

Fourteen days. My boys still don't have a Christmas wish list. I think that's a good thing. It's not that they're spoiled and have every game and gadget imaginable, but it's not all about the "stuff". Mostly, they want snow for Christmas, and plenty of time to enjoy their snowboards. So, I guess you could say that they are getting what they want... snow day #2.

When I think about gift-giving, I remember what my dad would say every time you asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Every time, same answer... "good kids".

On Monday I volunteered to work a Faith Hospice event. A troupe of boy scouts and girl scouts came in to sing Christmas carols to the residents. It really warmed my heart to see these kids singing with such spirit, songs of the Christ child. Joy to the World, Silent Night, Away in a Manger, "...and take us to heaven to live with Thee there". These residents generally have less than 6 months to live, sometimes only days. The patients and families were really touched by this group, as was I.

How blessed we are to have shelter from this winter storm, food to nourish our bodies, family and friends to share our joys and sorrows, and faith that brings us peace, even in times of trouble. May you be blessed with the gifts of faith, health, and love this Christmas season. Find time to enjoy the little things over the next two weeks. I highly recommend you start with a home cooked meal with the whole family around the table. ...and don't forget the dessert.

Merry Christmas!

One Tribe

When I was about 5 years old, my grandma was visiting and watching me as I played in the driveway. She observed me for a while then declared, "Oh Dorie, look how sweet she is...Laurie is helping the little ants get into their anthills!" At that moment, I stood up and stomped on the anthill, twisting and grinding the dirt into the cement crack. Grandma went from touched to horrified, instantly. Mom thought it was hysterical.

I tell this story because it demonstrates how things are not always as they seem. We, as human beings are often quick to judge, and all too often, we're wrong.

I've always been a bit fascinated with ants. Maybe it was because, at 4 years old, I was officially an "aunt". Perhaps because, being the youngest of 9 children, I could relate to being part of a "colony". When we would have our summer family reunions at Gun Lake, my relatives would take up half of the park. In we would swarm, feasting, swimming, laughing, storytelling, and finally, dispersing. Still to this day, when I see a swarm of ants on a sidewalk, my mind says, "Hey, look, it's a family reunion!"

I remember watching those ants whose homes formed impressive granular towers along the cracks of the driveway. They were hard workers! But they just seemed too busy working to get to know their neighbors. I, being the goodwill ambassador of my domain, took it upon myself to perform experiments. I would take in a stray ant, walk it across the drive, and drop it into a foreign hill. The thing is, they just didn't mix well. Try as I may, the other ants would inevitably kick the poor little guy out. Eventually, I had to step it up. I decided to create my own little natural disaster. (Not to worry, no ants were harmed in this research.) I would give the foreign ant sufficient clearance, then BAM! Buried. I just knew that these hard working ants would rally together and rebuild, stronger, taller. Ants of the drive, untied as one tribe!

It occurred to me, as I was mulling over this memory, that we people are a lot like the ants. We're busy, hard working, living life and trying to keep up. How well do we know our neighbors? Next door, down the block, down the road, downtown. Certainly, when a crisis hits, we reach out to help, but are we warm, friendly, and welcoming to "outsiders" on a daily basis?
I felt like that ant that had been plucked from my home this summer when I was on a mission trip. I was dropped into an unfamiliar, uncomfortable environment. I learned a lot on that trip. We are all one people, one human race. We all have the basic human need to love and be loved. And, as Mother Teresa once said, "When you're judging someone, you have no room to love them."

So, to the untrained eye, I may have appeared to be a cruel child at play, but if you took the time to know me, or just ask me, you could come to a completely different conclusion. (And, right now, I'm sure some of you may conclude that I'm a bit crazy.)

Go on now, love your neighbor. Turn off that judge-o-meter and offer up some love.

Howard turns 83.

Yesterday, Michael, Carter, Ella & I filed into the magical minivan and headed to Detroit to celebrate Howard's 83rd birthday. (Ok, so there's nothing "magical" about it. It's a minivan.)
It was a beautiful day for a drive, and when Judy's entertaining, you definitely want to be there! Ok, Howard first. If I start with the food, I may never make it to Howard...

Last week I was talking on the phone with my sister Nancy about our plans to visit the Labadies and celebrate Howard's birthday. There was this long, puzzled pause, and she said, "NOW?... I thought Howard's birthday was in the summer." It seems when Nancy & Bernie were traveling in Northern Michigan this August they stopped by the lakehouse to see them, and Howard was going on about his birthday. My sister went so far as to send him a birthday card...in August. For the record, Howard's birthday is October 21, but he'll celebrate any day of living!

When you first meet Howard, you instantly feel his warmth and kindness, and without a doubt, he's smiling. He smiles a lot. I hope I'm like that at 83. I want to be the kinder-gentler version of me. (I think my family might want that for me right now.) Howard has had some health scares over the past decade, and he could teach us all something about being happy, and thankful each day. Judy is the love of his life, family is everything, and he is blessed. Howard has become rather sentimental in his years. He's a sensitive guy, and during those "moments" in life...the ones that should matter to us all... Howard will tear up. It's really the sweetest thing. He gets it. This thing called life. Those moments are precious, and should be celebrated with abandonment, and yes, tears.

He's also a funny guy. He likes to tell people that when he served in WWII, he was stationed on a little island about 1,500 miles off the coast of San Francisco. (that part is...technically true) The island? Grosse Ile. Yup. Downriver Detroit. He got to drive home for lunch. :)
A summer morning at the cottage goes something like this...Howard: Good morning Carter! How are you feeling this morning? Carter: I feel good. Howard: Oh really? I feel with my hands.
To really know Howard is to anticipate one of his "Howardisms". My favorite: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift...and that's why they call it the present.
He has several of these on automatic rotation. That Howard is a true gift and a joy to be around!

The food was, as always, amazing. I was mostly full after the appetizers, but limited my dinner so I could finish with birthday pie. One apple, one mixed berry. Yum.
And now, two months of reprieve, then in January Howard will start talking about his birthday. I can just hear it now...
Howard:"I'm gonna be 90 this year."
Judy: "Oh Howard, you are not! You're only gonna be 84!"
Howard: "Well, I had a stroke, ya know..."

God bless him!