Don’t just do something, sit there.

Yogic transformation.  Inquiry. Inquiry. Inquiry.  Spend a week dedicated to inquiry, meditation and practice, and you’re likely going to see some aspects of self that could use some fixing.  I just spent a week at Menla Mountain Retreat for Baptiste Power Yoga Institute Level 2 Teacher Training.  So what did I learn?...

I am a concern for looking good.  Do you like me? Do you like me? Do you like me?

It’s the unanswerable question that I take with me all…of…the time.  We all have one that plays in the background of our minds.  Am I good enough?  Do I belong here? Just give it a little thought.  Bam, there it is.  And how ridiculous it sounds. Even more ridiculous is how we fuel the need to know the answer to that question.  It forms how we listen, speak, interact, our way of being, and it doesn’t mean squat. 

We have this crazy need for everything to mean something.  Try this on.  Remove meaning, judgment, significance, and just be with your experience.  We humans are so good at creating story around EVERYthing.  We can add meaning to the way someone looks at you, or doesn’t, what someone said, or didn’t.  We create reality out of bullshit stories. 

So, how to “fix” you?  Start by not trying to fix anything. When you know yourself, you can shift patterns… transform. Real transformation is the ability to let things be.  Observe, see how things show up, be in the moment with your experience without past cluttering your view.  Let it be.  Now, drop the past and all those “I’m this way” stories, and choose a new way of being.  Grounded being. Clear slate. Be in the now, and you’ll know how. 

This present moment. It’s all that we have, moment by moment.  The more present we are, as teacher, parent, friend, human being, the richer our lives will become.  Only then can you really experience the experience.  I taught two classes yesterday, and I’ve never felt more grounded and present with my students.  Each and every one.  This is a great gift.

Level 2 was full of lots of other nuggets, insights and truths.  The coolest thing about the experience was getting to know some pretty amazing people on their journey, sharing from their essence, making the program so powerful.  Witnessing transformation before your eyes is so incredible.  I shed a lot of tears, and my capacity to love and let people in has expanded.  Playing small and holding back are simply not options anymore. 

Right now, my new way of being is of strength and possibility.  I’m giving up the lies that I’m alone, and I’m not good enough.  Screw that!  This is who I am. 
(Level 2 declaration, pre Magic Carpet Ride!)