Trust

I’ve been thinking a lot about trust these days.  I’m a pretty trusting person.  I tend to take people for their word.  I’ve always been someone who says what I mean, I speak the truth, and I hold the same expectation of others.  I know that isn’t always the case.  I trust anyway.

I am very trustworthy.  I'm a good listener, and people trust me with their innermost thoughts.  Those who know me well, know and trust that what they share with me stays with me.  There are very few people of whom I trust completely.  I actually think this is as it should be. 

Then there’s trust at the deepest level.  Reliance.  When you don’t even consider the matter of trust, because you just know.  Through a deep connection, you rely, trust, from your core. 

When basic trust is broken, say, an untruth spoken, 

I can usually see behind the scenes, some insecurity, pain, or brokenness.  I try not to take it personally.  I push back my trust zone for that individual, but I go on trusting people.

When trust is violated at the deepest level, it can totally rock your world.  It has.  But how has it changed how I trust people?  I don’t know if I can fully answer that question.  Right now, I can say that trust is a choice.  Choosing to not trust people just isn’t even in my DNA.  I may listen with a more cautious ear, or unconsciously go along with what you might say to me, even if I’m not completely trusting it as truth. 

I’ve had trust violated in long-term friendships and relationships.  This kind of violation shakes me to my core.  In some cases, it’s a deal-breaker. It can forever change the way I trust that person, but it doesn’t change how I trust all people.  I still choose trust.  You extend it, nurture it, and grow it into something deep and meaningful.  Some may say that if you can’t trust someone you’ve known intimately for years, you can’t trust anyone.  The way I see it is, you have to start any relationship with trust, an openness to what is possible.  I won’t allow my faith in humanity to be broken by the imperfections of human beings. 

Ernest Hemingway once said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”  Amen Ernie.  Open up and trust.  It’s the only way to live this beautiful, messy, unpredictable life.